:-)
You know that quote that says "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? well, it's definitely true.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Absence.
Lazy Sunday...finally cleaned up my mess of a room and now i'm just hanging around waiting for Steve to give me a call. He's set to come back from Panama later today
:-)
You know that quote that says "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? well, it's definitely true.
:-)
You know that quote that says "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? well, it's definitely true.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Closing Time.
"Closing Time...every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"
so being a hardcore 90's music fan that I am, I decided to make reference to one of the greatest songs of that era...Semisonic's "Closing Time". Seemed to fit pretty well with tonight(I close at work) and also I thought it was appropriate because of the changes this new year has brought...not only to me but to other people in my life as well.
Human nature to feel melancholic when something ends(so long as that "thing" was pleasant..but come to think of it, we tend to mourn the ending of some unpleasant things as well..go figure). We are adaptable beings, molding ourselves to our situation...almost to the point of conforming. In a sense, we are all conformists. Yes, some of us try to rebel and scream at the top of our lungs that "we are different! I will not conform!" but ultimately, we do. Whether it is sticking around in a less than thrilling job because it pays the bills or staying in a relationship because we hope that we can somehow fix it(or worse, we think that we can't do any better)
It's happened to me. If it hasn't already happened, it will happen to you. Nonconformity is not only being able to throw on some raggedy clothes(denouncing style and fashion and what is "in") or having a mohawk on your head, it's about knowing exactly when to settle and when to gracefully bow out.
It's a hard thing...in relationships, for example, one goes into it with high hopes. Everything is wonderful and new. You and your sweetheart are in a constant blissful state, problems and arguments seem so nonexistent....but one day, you wake up. Fall out of that cloud and realize that he will not always think the way you do. and vice versa. you argue, scream, and at times, insult.
But years have gone by, you've been with this person for years. You've grown accustomed to them, their scent, their laugh, their walk, even the silly way they pronounce "Mississipi". And you care. So you try and try, despite obvious signs screaming in your face that "HE IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU". You refuse to believe that this person, who you've spent more than 2 years with, is not the one meant for you.
So much time spent, so many memories, what a waste if I call it quits now, you think. The eternal optimist, you stick it out. Try to compromise and salvage this already damaged relationship... you might not even be happy but the fact that you've invested SO MUCH TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT into it makes you stick around. Deep inside you think that maybe this is how things are, that this is the best that you will ever get.Suck it up Michelle, because you may not be happy now but who knows what will happen if you leave and try and start anew with someone else? perhaps you'll be miserable with that person....so you settle. Conforming to being unhappy, staying in a relationship that has long been struck by rigor mortis.
And so...yet another conformist is created, set to join the ranks of thousands who settle when they should not. Fortunately, some of us realize that this is NOT what I want. Yes I spent time and effort and yes, I have cried(sobbed at times) countless times in order to make this work. But it did not. AND THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. So, if you are in a situation where you need OUT, whether it be a job where your boss treats you like shit or in a 5 year relationship that is CLEARLY not going anywhere anymore, gracefully(always keep your dignity) bow out. Learn from what happened and move onto the next best thing(because there is always THE NEXT BEST THING, always.) and put your heart and soul into that. Doesn't matter if you've been hurt or if you find it hard to trust, humans have been programmed to be in control of their thoughts and feelings. If an opportunity presents itself, take it.
"Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world"-Semisonic
so being a hardcore 90's music fan that I am, I decided to make reference to one of the greatest songs of that era...Semisonic's "Closing Time". Seemed to fit pretty well with tonight(I close at work) and also I thought it was appropriate because of the changes this new year has brought...not only to me but to other people in my life as well.
Human nature to feel melancholic when something ends(so long as that "thing" was pleasant..but come to think of it, we tend to mourn the ending of some unpleasant things as well..go figure). We are adaptable beings, molding ourselves to our situation...almost to the point of conforming. In a sense, we are all conformists. Yes, some of us try to rebel and scream at the top of our lungs that "we are different! I will not conform!" but ultimately, we do. Whether it is sticking around in a less than thrilling job because it pays the bills or staying in a relationship because we hope that we can somehow fix it(or worse, we think that we can't do any better)
It's happened to me. If it hasn't already happened, it will happen to you. Nonconformity is not only being able to throw on some raggedy clothes(denouncing style and fashion and what is "in") or having a mohawk on your head, it's about knowing exactly when to settle and when to gracefully bow out.
It's a hard thing...in relationships, for example, one goes into it with high hopes. Everything is wonderful and new. You and your sweetheart are in a constant blissful state, problems and arguments seem so nonexistent....but one day, you wake up. Fall out of that cloud and realize that he will not always think the way you do. and vice versa. you argue, scream, and at times, insult.
But years have gone by, you've been with this person for years. You've grown accustomed to them, their scent, their laugh, their walk, even the silly way they pronounce "Mississipi". And you care. So you try and try, despite obvious signs screaming in your face that "HE IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU". You refuse to believe that this person, who you've spent more than 2 years with, is not the one meant for you.
So much time spent, so many memories, what a waste if I call it quits now, you think. The eternal optimist, you stick it out. Try to compromise and salvage this already damaged relationship... you might not even be happy but the fact that you've invested SO MUCH TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT into it makes you stick around. Deep inside you think that maybe this is how things are, that this is the best that you will ever get.Suck it up Michelle, because you may not be happy now but who knows what will happen if you leave and try and start anew with someone else? perhaps you'll be miserable with that person....so you settle. Conforming to being unhappy, staying in a relationship that has long been struck by rigor mortis.
And so...yet another conformist is created, set to join the ranks of thousands who settle when they should not. Fortunately, some of us realize that this is NOT what I want. Yes I spent time and effort and yes, I have cried(sobbed at times) countless times in order to make this work. But it did not. AND THAT IS NOT MY FAULT. So, if you are in a situation where you need OUT, whether it be a job where your boss treats you like shit or in a 5 year relationship that is CLEARLY not going anywhere anymore, gracefully(always keep your dignity) bow out. Learn from what happened and move onto the next best thing(because there is always THE NEXT BEST THING, always.) and put your heart and soul into that. Doesn't matter if you've been hurt or if you find it hard to trust, humans have been programmed to be in control of their thoughts and feelings. If an opportunity presents itself, take it.
"Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world"-Semisonic
Friday, July 24, 2009
What's in your head?
Working 12 hour shift today. Felt like listening to The Cranberries's "Zombie"....
reminded me of the little girl from Cepad in Nicaragua.
All these people spending money on frivolous things. What's worse is that I do the same. How do you stop something that you've been conditioned to?
In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
reminded me of the little girl from Cepad in Nicaragua.
All these people spending money on frivolous things. What's worse is that I do the same. How do you stop something that you've been conditioned to?
In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I wish...
I had a more professional sounding name... you know, like the kind of name that makes you say "damn, they sound legit". An actual photographer's name.
names that sound legit:
George Tice
Laura Taylor
Bryan Sheffield
Daley Hake
Brandon Short
Autumn De Wilde :-D
Annie Leibowitz
Greg Mortenson
Igor Termenon
David Bellemere
Tim Walker
Nick Knight
Steven Klein
David Bailey
David Sims
...and then there's
Michelle Gastulo.
I just hope whoever I marry has a pretty awesome sounding last name hehe.
names that sound legit:
George Tice
Laura Taylor
Bryan Sheffield
Daley Hake
Brandon Short
Autumn De Wilde :-D
Annie Leibowitz
Greg Mortenson
Igor Termenon
David Bellemere
Tim Walker
Nick Knight
Steven Klein
David Bailey
David Sims
...and then there's
Michelle Gastulo.
I just hope whoever I marry has a pretty awesome sounding last name hehe.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Eep.
Apparently I can't manage my money well enough. I keep spending on ridiculous things that I really don't need. But I have to start spending money on what really matters. I have to prove to my parents that I can handle the responsibility of living on my own when they move down to Florida. But most importantly, I have to keep my promise to Gloria & the kids from Nica. I wonder what their life is like right now. I hope with all my heart that they're okay.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Raindrops keep falling on my head
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
It's raining and I wish I didn't have things to do.
It's raining and I wish I didn't have things to do.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Don't forget to wear sunscreen...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…
:-D
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…
:-D
Baby, I'm Yours
Love always remains(MGMT, hehe)
In celebration of finding love(and starting up blogging again), I'm posting the lyrics for a certain song that keeps playing over and over in my mind.
A little song by The Artic Monkeys...
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the stars fall from the sky,
Yours (yours) until the rivers all run dry
In other words, until I die
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the sun no longer shines,
Yours (yours) until the poets run out of rhyme
In other words, until the end of time
I'm gonna stay right here by your side,
Do my best to keep you satisfied
Nothin' in the world can drive me away
'Cause every day, you'll hear me say
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until two and two is three,
Yours (yours) until the mountains crumble to the sea
In other words, until eternity
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the stars fall from the sky
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the rivers all run dry
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the sun no longer shines
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the poets run out of rhyme
Steve makes my heart happy.
In celebration of finding love(and starting up blogging again), I'm posting the lyrics for a certain song that keeps playing over and over in my mind.
A little song by The Artic Monkeys...
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the stars fall from the sky,
Yours (yours) until the rivers all run dry
In other words, until I die
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the sun no longer shines,
Yours (yours) until the poets run out of rhyme
In other words, until the end of time
I'm gonna stay right here by your side,
Do my best to keep you satisfied
Nothin' in the world can drive me away
'Cause every day, you'll hear me say
Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until two and two is three,
Yours (yours) until the mountains crumble to the sea
In other words, until eternity
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the stars fall from the sky
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the rivers all run dry
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the sun no longer shines
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the poets run out of rhyme
Steve makes my heart happy.
Of Moons, Birds, and Monsters
Blogging for the first time in ever...
Lots has happened since the last time I've written...Went to Nica, moving out soon, been working on some photography AND started dating s super uber sweet person(Steve!)
So..too much to recap but all in all, I'm in a good place. And I guess that's all that matters, right?
Lots has happened since the last time I've written...Went to Nica, moving out soon, been working on some photography AND started dating s super uber sweet person(Steve!)
So..too much to recap but all in all, I'm in a good place. And I guess that's all that matters, right?
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